Only Adam Ate the Apple

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Sometimes I doubt that knowledge has been bestowed upon women. When faced with situations with some men, I doubt that I have ever existed on this planet. I ask other women about their experience in handling such situations, and I discover that they are far better misinformed than I am.

When a man spots a woman he likes, he sets her as his target. He calculates her movement, speed, direction, and when he should fire to kill. Sometimes she surprises him by an occasional stop at a kiosk, a display window, or a nail parlor, but he has scenarios for every move, every step, and every word she utters in self-defense. Men are prepared for war, while us women are still domesticated. We did not start out on the battlefield, and we have no experience in hunting. Our experience lies in luring the hunter indoors, but we have to cope with the consequences as a result:

If the inside has no windows lest he spots a target to hunt, he will be bored, and there is nothing worse, I repeat, nothing worse than a domesticized man. He thinks he knows how to do everything better, and he tries to improve everything that you do. You make him the king of your heart and he wants to become the king of the territory including you, your brains, and your body.

If allowed to roam outdoors, the man will spot, set target, and fire, and he will do all this without you noticing, if smart enough.

If he can, he will.

However, if you are walking outside trying to enjoy the state of singlehood you have finally come to terms with without wanting to be pursued by a man, especially the wrong kind you dislike, detest, disdain, or abhor, you find yourself being chased by all kinds of wrong men: the failure who gets attracted to your success and wants a woman to hunt and play house at the same time, the sleazy who does it because he can, the playboy who needs to add to his score, the arrogant who underneath it all has an inferiority complex and belittles you to feel better about himself, the married who was left to roam outside alone, and the older-married man who wants to prove to himself that he still can.

The worst step any woman can take is to try to reason logically with the man she is letting down. Men in this situation become like two-year-olds with the question “But Why?” After a few “but whys,” men find a logical loop-hole and jam their fingers in it.

“Will you go out with me?”

“No.”

“But why not?”

“Because I am not interested in you.”

“But why not? Am I not a handsome man?”

“Yes you are, but I am not interested in going out with a man at the moment. I am busy working on myself.”

“You are thirty four years old and haven’t finished working on yourself yet? Were you a late bloomer or something?”

“No I was not, but I am not currently interested.”

“But why?”

“Because I feel that your intentions are different than mine.”

“Why? What did I ever say? All that I am asking for is a date! Why do women always jump to conclusions?”

“Because a man’s intentions matter!”

“Why?”

“Because I do not want to waste my time on an unserious person.”

“But why? Are you looking for a relationship and marriage?”

“No! But I do not want to get involved with someone whose intentions are clearly to nail me only! Why go out for a cup of coffee with someone I know is only interested in my ass! Someone who wants to fool around and not the serious type! It does not matter whether I want a relationship or not, what matters is that I don’t go out with a guy who is not serious lest I like him! I do not want to have my heart broken, so I avoid the end-result before I ever start!”

“Jeez woman! Pull yourself together! You have serious issues! All I asked for was to go out for a cup of coffee! And now you wanna drag me into a marriage?”

 

What is worse than hearing those words is believing them. Some women fear being alone, and they go out eventually with this guy because they stupidly think they can change his mind about commitment and make him stay. They end up with a broken heart and many scars.

 

Adam knows it all. Adam knows that whether it is Lilith or Eve, a woman wants to get married whether she knows it or not. He, one the other hand, wants sex.

Sex helps man prove himself to himself. It does not do the same to a woman.

I say only Adam ate the apple because he became aware of Eve’s nakedness. Ever since then, he strips her naked with his eyes every time he sees her because this reminds him of the original encounter with knowledge. When he sees a naked Eve, it all comes back to him. It is the return to the womb. Yes, a woman delivers a man to life, and he spends the rest of his life trying to go back to the womb. She delivers him to salvation when she allows him to penetrate her.

 

Dogs mark their territory by pissing, men by fucking. Men wish to expand their territory as much as possible, and fidelity is man’s worst nightmare. Only a man who is afraid of being cheated at refrains from cheating, otherwise, he will seek out a woman to screw without his woman ever finding out. Yes! Men cheat simply because they can.

 

I decided to join an online dating service to try and meet someone, but the webpage which included almost all countries around the world, excluded most countries in the Middle East including Lebanon. I tried joining by using my address in the U.S., but it kept deleting my account after I would have spent hours filling in the information.

 

“Damn You Israelis!” I would yell to my laptop screen every time I read: “Your profile triggered our security system and was deleted. Sorry for the inconvenience.” Why the discrimination? Why are Israelis allowed to join this dating website and Arabs aren’t?

 

I searched the internet vertically and horizontally until I finally found a website based in Orange County and especially designed for Arabs. I filled out a profile, posted some pictures which didn’t appear until days later after getting approved by the administrators, and sat there waiting to catch my first fish—bait and switch; shock and awe. I started receiving messages and flirts from many people who didn’t fit my criteria but who messaged me anyway. Some asked for a date while others asked to marry me, especially men from the Gulf looking for their third or fourth wife and waste no time in getting to know someone.

“Why talk? All I want is for her to be available for me twice a week for the making of the sexing or for the making of the babies Insha’allah!”

 

Until one day when I got a message from an anonymous with no picture. After having been on that website for a month, I learned that people with no pictures are married men who don’t want to be recognized by their wives. They use fake names, fake info, and post no pictures. While most divorced men state that they have never been married and have no children, married men state that they are divorced or separated (if they want to play it safe).

 

I received that message and decided to ask the guy why he doesn’t have a picture.

His response came with a scenario that I couldn’t chew well let alone swallow: He is too handsome and cannot handle all the attention he gets from the females on the website. He didn’t leave it at that and how I wish he did because I could have taken that as a joke, but no. He added that he was stalked by one woman and was forced to close down his account and open another under a different nickname with different information. I respectfully replied that I cannot correspond with someone whom I cannot form a well-defined mental picture of, especially since this is a romantic dating website. I had to see what he looked like. He responded saying that he can email me a picture if I want to, and he asked for my cell-phone number so he could call me to which I responded with a firm “NO.”

 

Then came the reply: “Why do you think you are better than everybody? You do not wish to correspond with someone who doesn’t have a picture up? I think it is far worse not to want to give me your phone number. I mean, you are pretentious and with low self-confidence. You seem like you have no experience, and I hope you stop messaging me.”

 

??????????

 

Excuse me? What happened here? Last time I checked, I did not suffer from epilepsy, so did something happen in his dimension that I am not aware off? Was his house swept off with a tornado? Did a tsunami flood his head and confuse the order of women and relationships in there?

 

I then realized that this guy knows how to play it well like any Lebanese guy, but he played it too soon. Yes, I read in some online newspaper that Lebanon was voted one of the top 10 most romantic countries in 2012 based on an analysis of how the men treat the women. I realize we are in there with the French and most importantly the Italians, but I also know it is not because the guys know how well to treat the women, but how well to lie through their teeth to the five women they are involved with at once. This guy knew the art of guilt-trapping because any response he would get out of me he knew how to reply to, but he played his cards too soon. He was not a poker master, and he failed just because I was a little bit more experienced than he assumed.

This is one loophole in men’s thinking: they generalize. Just because many women are completely ignorant and living in the dark, this does not mean that most women can afford their intelligence being insulted without them noticing.

 

Maybe, after all, Eve did retain a bite.

 

 

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